07.23
I don’t want to come off as a curmudgeonly bitter former rock star (although in my mind this is true!), and I give big up’s to anyone willing to subject themselves to the scrutiny of the great unwashed American public and play music on the street, HOWEVER… there are clearly some people that should remove any thoughts from their feeble brains that they are 1) an entertainer, 2) a musician. There are several “street entertainers” in Boston that deserve the John Belushi Smash the Guitar Against the Wall Award. One guy, who I have dubbed “Horny”, shows up periodically in front of South Station with his saxophone and plays non-stop as loud as he can for hours at a time. He is a veritable musical schlock machine who plays every song in the same key and seemingly everything you never wanted to hear again in this lifetime. Ever heard “Star Wars Theme” in a medley with “You Are the Sunshine of My Life” and “Tequila”? Well now you can if you’re within hailing distance of South Station Boston. I’d definitely give him money to stop. But I will say this, for a reformed alchoholic crackhead, he’s really got the circular breathing thing down..
Another so-called “street musician” that afflicts many urban environments is the tweaker nee crackhead “Trash Can Drummer”. These dudes think beating a repetitive go-go beat on plastic tubs, with cymbal crashs simulated by the trash can tops, and again for hours on end, is a pleasant and entertaining experience for spectators and people trapped in traffic in nearby cars. Just Stop Already!! I’d pay these guys to go away, but I’d be afraid of pulling out my wallet. There are likely to be semi-automatic weapons under those plastic tubs….
And because South Station is a major commuting terminus, there are always guys badly playing $1.98 out of tune, stolen 5 string guitars, mumbling some lyrics noone can understand next to a cardboard sign that says something like “Need money to get back to my fiance..” The best street musician I ever saw was playing an electric guitar upside down at a Red Line stop, with the neck of the guitar pointed at his feet and the body resting on his shoulder. He sounded like Bach on acid, two-handed tapping counterpoint melodies and bending strings like Jimi. I missed three subway trains in a row to listen to this guy. Wherever you are now, please come back and displace “Horny” and “crackhead plastic tub drummer boy”, I beg you! Save us all from more urban noise pollution!!